Anxiety oh Anxiety I felt you this morning,

in the pit of my stomach and in the tingling of my hands.

Anxiety oh anxiety I thought you would let me be,

but there I hear you trying to save me.

Anxiety oh Anxiety what are you trying to say?

The world is scary it’s not safe out there today.

Anxiety oh Anxiety just leave me alone!

The heat I am feeling is out of this zone.

Anxiety oh Anxiety can you please just stop,

Did I say the right thing or not?

Worrying if I am OK,

Worrying if I will fit in today.

Am I OK?

Anxiety what do you say?

(Anonymous)

Anxiety is experienced differently for all of us and most of the time anxiety is seen as negative. What if I told you that Anxiety can bee seen in a different way?

Back in the Land before time, the cave person had to survive daily run ins with SaberTooth tigers, mammoths and life-threatening events! Our pre-historic brains were designed to help us survive!

When the cave person would perceive threat, the brain stem (survival part of your brain) sends messages to your body to release hormones,  which causes our heart to beat faster, our body temperature to raise, our digestive system speeds up and we become more alert… all these signals in our body make us ready to take on the perceived threat, we FIGHT or FLIGHT.

A threat can also lead to immobilization (Freeze) also known as dissociation, however that is a whole other piece of writing and I don’t know about you but I can only absorb so much information at one time, so will stick to Anxiety for now.

Thank goodness that all those years ago our amazing brains kept us alert and alive! Years and years later our brains are still programmed this way, although we may not have the same threats as coming face to face with a Tiger our brain does tend to sometimes perceive day to day life events as threatening, especially when we have experienced a Trauma within our life.

We all have anxiety, day to day life events such as speaking in front of your team at work, going to school and wondering what the day will bring. Anxiety is very much within us all, and it can help us become aware that we are feeling worried or nervous. And this is completely reasonable. Sometimes anxiety can help fuel us to speak in front of the crowd or approach a new potential friend (fight). Sometimes anxiety can prevent us from doing new things (flight), and that is OK too. Maybe for that individual it is not the right time.

But when anxiety starts to affect our everyday life, then it can prevent us from living and enjoying life. Moment by moment.

How do I get rid of anxiety?

This is often a question I get asked, or can you help me get rid of it. Unfortunately, the answer is you cannot. Anxiety is a vital part of us, it protects us and keeps us safe. Anxiety is there when you do not want to walk home late at night on your own, anxiety is there before you cross the road, to be alert. Anxiety is there when you have a job interview, your human you feel.

It is about noticing Anxiety, understanding it and accepting that it is a part of you.

When I wake up in the morning, I feel anxious. I have no idea why; I just have this gut feeling a bit like butterflies. I notice my body sensations and I say to myself. Ok I hear your anxiety, but I am safe, in my house and I am going to work. Because by accepting and acknowledging my anxiety. I am validating my feelings and they are a part of me. Before I resisted and ignored the horrible feeling and I filled my day with avoiding activities until anxiety came back with a vengeance, I experienced a panic attack.

Mindfulness has also helped significantly, and I recommend taking that up daily, it has so many benefits not only to help our mental health but our physical health to. Lower heart rate, lower stress levels. There are lots of apps around and you tube videos that are basic. Start of slowly it takes time.

Counselling can really help with anxiety as it provides a safe confidential space to talk and explore what could be going on unconsciously and together with the Counsellor explore tools and techniques that are right to help understand your anxiety and alleviate it.

Please do get in touch if you feel I can help you if your experiencing Anxiety and it is all becoming a bit too much.

Frustration with sleep, or lack of it!

Sleepless nights now and then can be manageable, we can tap into our reserved fuel tank to get through the next day. But one sleepless night after another can leave us feeling exhausted, heavy and frustrated, wondering what is going on and why can't we sleep? We lay awake at night worrying about  how we are going to cope the next day. When one sleepless night turns into a few and so on, night time can become a time of dread and we may tend to worry throughout the day about not being able to sleep that evening. This can instil a fear around going to bed.  

We can start to ruminate about sleep, what is preventing sleep, what am I 'doing wrong'? It may go as far as becoming obsessive about routines we feel we must do to get to sleep. Do not get me wrong if you do find something that helps you sleep at nightime that is brilliant, it is when our behaviours become obsessive and then we worry about not completing

that routine then it can become a problem, as that pressure to complete the routine will

exasperate stress and anxiety.

Research has shown us stress is closely linked with sleepless nights, how frustrating!

We cannot sleep, then we stress about not sleeping! It is a vicious circle, right?

Well I am hoping this information can help.

Research shows regular activities such as yoga, tai chi and meditation can help relax the

body and mind and train the mind to focus on the here and now. (There are many free you tube

videos on yoga and tai chi)

We may not feel stressed or notice we are stressed; however, it can manifest in different ways such as, Headaches, feeling more irritable, frustrated, low mood, unable to concentrate, muscle pain, dizziness and sleeplessness, if that is a word? I'll use it anyway. Even now, I don't feel stressed but writing this I am starting to get a headache, however through self awareness and learning about myself through Counselling I recognise that this is my be perfect driver wanting to get this right. Recognising my behaviour I am able to take a step back and be kind to myself. I am not perfect and this bit of writing doesn't have to be either, it's enough.

Walking outside connecting with nature can help. Making a conscious choice to notice the sounds, such as birds singing, smelling the fresh cut grass and flowers or the rain. Trust me, rain smells!! Connecting with the outdoors can help enable that sense of gratefulness which helps release hormones such as Serotonin which can regulate our mood balance, digestion and... Sleep cycle. 

Progressive muscle relaxation is a deep relaxation technique effectively used to control stress and anxiety. Introduced by Edmund Jacobson in 1930. This involves tensing the major muscle groups in the body head down to toe.  Please consult your Doctor if you have any medical conditions before practicing this technique. There is a lot of information online around PMR.

Talking and sharing your worries with somebody you trust, without fear of judgement can help. Counselling can help. Having time and space to talk, freely with someone who will accept whatever you bring, and listen, emapathically to your every worry and concern can help understand what may be causing stress and anxiety.

When you suffer with Insomnia it can feel incredibly lonely and difficult, it is emotional. Especially when you do not understand why your unable to sleep.

There may be worries sitting in the unconscious that you are not aware of and Counselling can help explore those worries, gently. When we are aware and have understanding then we can move forward to positive change. Please get in touch if you feel Counselling is for you.